Hydro-Man spent over a year with "become an Island" text until, near the end of the process, our kindly editor reminded us that would cause him to lose all other abilities, which causes numerous weird rules interactions
Esper Aristocrats with Bane | Commander | Abe Sargent Commander (1) 1 Bane, Lord of Darkness Creatures (38) 1 Blood Artist 1 Bloodghast 1 Body Launderer 1 Burnished Hart 1 Carrion Feeder 1 Cloudblazer 1 Corpse Knight 1 Cruel Celebrant 1 Glen Elendra Archmage 1 Grim Haruspex 1 Karmic Guide 1 Keening Banshee 1 Knight of the White Orchid 1 Kor Cartographer 1 Mentor of the Meek 1 Midnight Reaper 1 Mulldrifter 1 Ophiomancer 1 Pawn of Ulamog 1 Plaguecrafter 1 Priest of Forgotten Gods 1 Puppeteer Clique 1 Ravenous Chupacabra 1 Recurring Skeleton 1 Roil Elemental 1 Roving Harper 1 Sengir Autocrat 1 Shriekmaw 1 Solemn Simulacrum 1 Solitude 1 Soul of the Harvest 1 Sower of Temptation 1 Syr Konrad, the Grim 1 Venser, Shaper Savant 1 Viscera Seer 1 Woe Strider 1 Yahenni, Undying Partisan 1 Zulaport Cutthroat Planeswalkers (2) 1 Liliana, Dreadhorde General 1 Tevesh Szat, Doom of Fools Spells (17) 1 An Offer You Can't Refuse 1 Citywide Bust 1 Counterspell 1 Cyclonic Rift 1 Disallow 1 Dismiss 1 Dissolve 1 Hagra Mauling 1 Insidious Will 1 Jwari Disruption 1 Malakir Rebirth 1 Negate 1 Sejiri Shelter 1 Swan Song 1 Teferi's Protection 1 Utter End 1 Wash Away Artifacts (8) 1 Arcane Signet 1 Lightning Greaves 1 Sol Ring 1 Swiftfoot Boots 1 Talisman of Dominance 1 Talisman of Hierarchy 1 Talisman of Progress 1 Thought Vessel Lands (34) 1 Arcane Sanctum 1 Ash Barrens 1 Barren Moor 1 Bojuka Bog 1 Command Tower 1 Drifting Meadow 1 Fetid Pools 1 Godless Shrine 1 Hallowed Fountain 1 High Market 1 Irrigated Farmland 1 Lonely Sandbar 1 Miren, the Moaning Well 1 Phyrexian Tower 1 Polluted Mire 1 Raffine's Tower 1 Reliquary Tower 1 Remote Isle 1 Secluded Steppe 1 Watery Grave 5 Island 4 Plains 5 Swamp And there you are
Bow down to the queen of discard
If Ursine Monstrosity isn't forced to attack the chosen player for one of the above reasons but can still attack, you may choose to have it attack another player, a planeswalker, a battle, or nothing at all
You feed the cat Humans, he grows, and protects himself
